S U R V I V I N G | Y O U R | O W N | S T O R M
How do you navigate the storms in your life? We all get them, some can even feel like the eye of it right now. Obviously this is in a metaphorical sense, but it is an interesting one which prompted me to look out of the window as the trees bend sideways, and the window pane howls as the wind whistles through. How do we best help ourselves get through that phase, that period in time, maybe it is just a chapter or even just a paragraph.
Whether it is fleeting and short or seems to rage on for days, weeks and months. The first step is to create a safe harbour, a sanctuary, a place we feel comforted and can be ourselves.
I love mindfulness and all the elements of practice that comes with this now vast arena of tips, advice, do this, do that. However as with navigating anything, this storm is about our unique and beautiful selves. We are all different and each person requires a different approach.
One of the things I explored during lockdown was how to view our internal mood like a weather report. Do we start off sunny, with clouds moving in later, with a chance of rain by the end of the day.
What would you attach to your weather? sunshine- happiness/joy, cloudy-something that worries you or is brooding, rain - tears/sadness . Make your own list of feelings and moods to fit a weather report. You will find it incredibly insightful to see how many feelings and moods shift and swing throughout the day. Similar to those of the elements outside.
But when a storm hits or rages. What do you feel then? How would you describe that intenisty. Was it brewing inside for a while ? through frustration or dissatisfaction. Perhaps it was external causes out of your control that flung you into the path of stormy feelings.
Seeking out the why’s can often be debilitating as there often isn’t a rational or logical answer to the pattern of life. Maybe losing a loved one? A job? A pet? Moving home? Abroad? A family rift. Discontent with a career or workplace. These all manifest themselves over time. Simmering just under the surface. Yet our daily faces present to the outside world as calm, intact, organised, efficient, pleasant etc. Then the bank bursts, the dam breaks and it all gushes forth in a rgaing torrent.
We can feel buffeted by the waves as they wash over us never allowing us to surface for air, we get tossed, turned and twisted like a washing machine effect, grasping to hang onto the outstretched branches to survive. It rains heavily and thick, we feel a blanket of low pressure around us at all times, dark and grey.
So, how do you survive your storm?
Create that safe harbour, that shelter. Whether it is inside you or is a physical space. Shore it up with what you need to survive. Seek help, therapy, a group, a place you feel will listened to. Talk with friends, family, work collegaues, managers. communicate and express what you feel with those you feel you can trust and connect with.
Recognise that this is a time in your life that will pass. Like a storm that blows through, it will open out into sunny days again. Things may look different, the landscape may have changed but belive in yourself and those who love and support you that you can survive the storm.
I used to work as a volunteer ‘Walk for Wellbeing leader’ with Oxfordshire Mind and it was an incredible feeling to see how much those daily walks in and around Oxford brought people from all backgrounds with varying mental health issues together through an activity that saw them watch the seasons unfold, hear the sounds of the city. Talk if they wanted to, or just admire the beauty of nature as we walked through parkland. no judgement, no agenda, just to be present in the moment on that walk, a safe harbour just for them away from all the storm.
So I have popped a few links below that may be useful in helping you or others to shore up their safe harbour as they weather their storm. Always seek advice from your GP too.
Melita x